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Engagement season is upon us which means that after the initial celebratory rush for the new couple has ebbed, the next thought going through your mind is “What am I going to wear?”
For most of us moms and step-moms, the rules have changed a bit since we walked down the aisle. It’s hard to keep up with the ever-changing landscape that is the modern day wedding. To help you navigate this all important gown choice, we’ve compiled a list of the most often asked Mother of the Bride & Groom dress questions we hear when mothers shop with us for their perfect dress.
Mother of the Bride & Groom Dress Questions
1. What color should I wear?
This is usually the first question asked by our mothers. They will tell us what the Bride’s color pallet is or what the bridesmaids are wearing. However, before we start defining complimentary colors, we strongly advise having a conversation with your Bride or Groom about their preferences for their big day. Some Brides are open to whatever color makes you personally feel amazing while some others are wanting to keep with specific wedding colors. Having a frank conversation prior to starting your search will help guide you as you shop.
Some of the most popular colors for mothers include earthy tones in neutral colors like taupe, warm beige, and latte. Jewel tones are lovely as well, such as sapphire, emerald, and Ruby. Go-to lighter colors for spring and summer weddings include soft pastels, such as blush, lavender, and slate blue.
2. How long does it take for these gowns to come in?
Generally, it is a good idea for mothers to look for their gowns at least 3-5 months ahead of the wedding.
Some manufacturers carry a vast inventory that will ship quickly while others cut orders as they arrive. You will also need to factor in alterations which should be started at least a month ahead of the wedding date. If you are one who has trouble making decisions or needs to bring multiple people along with you, it would be a better idea to start 6 to 9 months ahead of the wedding day.
3. What does a black tie dress code mean?
The formality of the wedding will be chosen by the couple and when it comes to dress codes, there are many different types.
The most formal is a black tie wedding, and you will need a long gown that goes with your personal style. You do not need to wear a fully beaded dress if this is not your style. There are gorgeous options in different fabrics and different colors. Depending on the time of year, you may opt for long sleeves or something with a cape or jacket. Many different dresses can be black tie appropriate, but it must be a floor-length long dress.
Other dress codes could be a request that the color of your dress match a specific color of the wedding, such as all black, or shades of pink, etc. A casual summer or country-themed outdoor wedding would be perfect for a lightweight pastel dress color dress or a pretty floral print. The color palette of the wedding on a tropical island would typically be bold and bright colors like fuchsia, yellows, and sky blue.
Different aesthetic weddings have their own dress codes, such as Gothic where you wear darker shades, or a fancy Gatsby wedding theme where you would want to search out beaded black or gold mother of the bride dresses.
4. Shouldn’t I wait to shop until the new seasonal gowns arrive?
While it is true that manufacturers still release new styles in the Fall and Spring there really isn’t any seasonality to gowns any longer. Gown styles don’t really vary dramatically between the seasons. Most formal wear designers sell nationally to areas with different climates. Offering gowns with heavier material, darker colors or longer sleeve options in places like Arizona and Florida wouldn’t be logical. Manufacturers will offer a variety of gown styles, colors and fabrics all year long so there’s no need to put off that shopping trip waiting for the “new” arrivals.
5. Why would I spend so much on a dress I’m only going to wear for a few hours?
Honestly, I don’t know anyone who wants to overspend on anything and we can’t blame them. This is why Darianna® Bridal & Tuxedo makes a concerted effort to carry gowns in a wide price range. We understand that there are many financial obligations involved in a wedding, but sacrificing your look may be shortsighted. Yes, the event is only a few hours long but your role as Mother of the Bride or Groom will be documented in those wedding photos forever.
Picture the bride in her beautiful wedding dress, the groom in his dapper tuxedo. The wedding party looks gorgeous together in their lovely dresses and suits. What will you be wearing? As the hostess of your daughter’s wedding, your wedding attire needs to be appropriate, tasteful and well-fitting. You do not want to be mistaken for a guest.
Choosing a gown off the clearance rack that’s been picked over may not translate well in years to come.
6. My Bride asked me to wear a color I don’t look good in, what do I do?
This issue can be handled easily with that necessary conversation we advised earlier with your Bride. How important is it to her wedding vision that you wear a color that may not suit you, your coloring, or your skin tone? Have you been truthful about your feelings regarding this choice? One thing we like to point out to mothers in this situation is that many Brides are thinking only of the overall color aesthetic. Brides may not realize that as an honorific like Mother of the Bride or Mother of the Groom, you are generally escorted down the aisle separately from the wedding party as well as being photographed, announced and seated independently. There are very few photographs that the entire bridal party is together where the Bride’s overall color scheme will be seen.
7. Can the Mother of the Groom wear the same color as the Mother of the Bride?
This is one of the most frequently asked Mother of the Bride & Groom Dress Questions. The short answer is yes you can. Once again we’re going to circle back to communicating with your Bride or Groom.
Is he/she opposed to you wearing the same color as the bride’s or groom’s mother? Would the other mother object to you wearing the same color? These are questions that can easily be asked and answered. When having this conversation it may be worth noting that not all gowns will look or photograph the same as material, embellishments and dyes vary even if they are technically the same color.
All the gowns in the photo below are listed as being navy blue, but look completely different from one another.
Finally, let’s address the elephant in the room: I’ll just find something online.
Ahh, yes. Who doesn’t love the ease and convenience of online shopping? Loading up your cart with needed items and having them magically appear on your doorstep is great. But, buying the gown you will wear on your child’s wedding day on the same site you buy your toothpaste in bulk may not be wise.
We’ve all seen pictures of models who look like perfection any online ads. Have you ever ordered and realized it looks nothing like the picture, it looks nothing like that on you, and it was just a complete waste of time? Now you are trying to return it and start over.
We have customers who come in panicked after their online order attempt didn’t work out so well. Many people assume that they can do full returns easily on dresses they don’t like. Sadly, they find out too late that the online retailer won’t refund their money or will only offer online credit. Or the item they wish to return has to be shipped overseas to the manufacturer and they are forced to pay shipping fees that exceed the cost of the item.
Another major issue with online shopping is poor quality or items not matching the photos presented. Recently a customer came in looking for a gown in a panic because the gown she thought she was getting wouldn’t arrive on time for her wedding. She found an amazing gown with us, but sent us this photo when the gown finally arrived – 3 weeks late.
Today’s MOBs & MOGs
Being in the wedding attire world for 12 years, we have seen quite a few changes, none so much as with mother of the bride and mother of the groom dresses. Twelve years ago, the choices were limited and earned their reputation for being “frumpy”. Fast forward to today and these dresses are youthful, on trend, sophisticated, and beautiful. Shopping in person for a dress on such a special day is a must. You do not need to spend thousands of dollars either.
Find a store that specializes in mothers and formal wedding wear. They will have a stylist who will help you find great options. From there, it will be a few easy steps to finalize the details of your order: the dress, color and professionally measure you for size. Doesn’t this sound better than endlessly scrolling for a dress, trying to figure out your own size, and having a dress delivered to your door that is rolled up in a bag?
We hope you found this helpful. Have additional Mother of the Bride & Groom Dress Questions? Reach out and let us know! Moms, this is an exciting time and a special occasion for you as well. Minimize the stress and find a professional and dedicated store like hours to shop for your Mother of the Bride or Mother of the Groom dress!
About the author: Suzanne Ardite is the manager of the mother’s department at Darianna Bridal & Tuxedo. With 30 years of bridal attire experience, she brings an unparalleled expertise to her customers that includes the most flattering silhouettes for their figure, coloring advice, alterations suggestions, and the proper accessory pieces. Her relationships with industry professionals allows her to easily obtain dresses at a moments notice. Originally from the Philadelphia region, Suzanne has lived and worked in many different states down the eastern seaboard. This exposure provided her with the knowledge of different customs and culture that are evident even within states. Her hobbies include producing and participating in community theater plays and international travel. She currently resides in New Hope, Pennsylvania with her husband, Frank and their two children, Kaitlyn and Francis.