We posed this question for two days on our Instagram story. We really wanted to know what brides are worried about as they plan their wedding. Some of these were mentioned multiple times so if you fit into any of these, know you are not alone!
Here is what you said you are most worried about, and our response and advice for each.
1. I won’t find the perfect dress.
Some brides need to go to every store they can find and try on hundreds of dresses, others are overwhelmed with the thought of one store.
If you are a bride that needs to try on every single dress from every possible store, our experience in discussing it with brides who have done this said it was a mistake. It was confusing, stressful, and wasn’t even fun anymore. By the end there wasn’t even a dress that they were excited about, since the excitement stopped after about the third store.
The story was the same: they cried happy tears but ignored it because they thought an even better dress was at the next store, and the next store, and the next store. By the time they went back to put the dress on that made them cry, it was just a dress. They all seemed alike. The magic was gone.
For a bridal stylist, this is an incredibly difficult appointment. This bride has no idea what she likes or wants because she likes something from every style – beading but also plain, fitted but also volume, low backs but also the detail on an illusion back, a skirt with tiers but also no tiers, long sleeve but also strapless, and we have no idea how to even begin. She is also bored and frustrated from the get-go. We pull our most unique pieces that she hasn’t seen to see if anything will wow her. And when this bride says yes, it isn’t at all what it was with the dress that made her cry.
Advice: When you find a dress that makes you emotional – you don’t want to take it off, and you can see yourself walking down the aisle in it – that’s your dress. Say yes and be so happy in your decision and celebrate with those who are there with you! Limit your search to a few stores with good reputations and designers that you love. You will know when you find one, and don’t keep trying to top it. That is when it’s not a magical experience anymore.
2. That no one is dancing and it’s boring.
Inviting your family and closest friends to celebrate is exciting and fun! Why wouldn’t they dance?! Hmmm, but what if they don’t? Yikes! Never fear – we asked a pro for this one. The advice and information given is worthy of a guest blog post on this as well on how to hire the right entertainment company – watch for this blog coming out soon with SO much more info!
Enter Art Armani from Armani Entertainment who has been in the business for 20 years and worked hundreds of weddings and events:
Advice: There are many things that can affect the dancing – or lack of dancing – at a reception, such as the time of day (an afternoon brunch), the type and set up of a venue (size, ventilation, multi-floor, etc.), the time of year (hot/humid). If the reception is a Friday/Saturday night, and the venue has a large dance floor, Art says, “The Bride and Groom’s involvement is the biggest factor to success. The focus of the reception itself is always on the Bride and Groom! Guests will follow them around the whole night so if the bride and groom are outside taking breaks, people will follow them outside. If the bride and groom don’t hit the dance floor, the chances of a full dance floor for the whole evening is decreased. So we always encourage at a minimum, the Bride to get out there and dance.”
Also, Art says that just because people are not dancing, does not mean they didn’t enjoy the music or didn’t have a good time. “Sometimes guests are very content with a laid back reception dance floor.”
So many answered that they are most worried about rain and of course right? Even a song lyric references the ‘irony’, “It’s like rain on your wedding day.”
Advice: Now because you are not the first to express this fear, we did a blog years ago on it and you can and should read it here! Planning in advance goes a long way to alleviate this worry and (spoiler alert:) – your photographer can get some of the most beautiful and creative photos in the rain… and this lighting (not direct sunlight) makes for some gorgeous ones!
4. I will spill something on my dress.
Ahhh, the red wine is flowing and those pesky hors d’oeuvres … how dare they get near your dress?! But they will and accidents happen. Not only food can cause stains, dropping a lipstick, leaning on a counter, brushing up against a railing – anything can cause smudges or downright blotches. You must be extremely careful, but also prepared.
Advice: First, separate the layers, if possible, so it doesn’t spread through. For a dirt stain, use a dry cloth and lightly brush. For a food or wine stain, use a white towel underneath and a Q-tip with dish soap and water, or peroxide, and gently blot from the underneath. Lipstick stains are the most difficult to remove so do your best to have that applied before you put your dress on, or lean out and have a towel underneath so it does not hit your dress if it drops. Ask your makeup person what chemicals are in the lipstick and what to use on it in an emergency, and make sure that is available. MOH, MOB/G, your wedding planner or coordinator needs to make sure that on-hand is everything you need for stains including: Q-tips, small bottles of a dish soap/water mix or peroxide, make up removers, bleach pens, stain stick, white hand towels.
5. That I trip and fall.
We’ve all seen the videos, had the nightmares, envisioned ourselves falling in our dress. While there isn’t anyone that can make sure this doesn’t happen except for you, you can take obvious measures to make it less probable.
Advice: First is your shoes. Not saying you have to wear sneakers or flats, but if you aren’t used to wearing high heels, your wedding day isn’t the day to try out those 5″ high beaded ones. Even if you are used to wearing them, you definitely aren’t used to wearing them in a wedding dress with multiple layers that will catch on anything even remotely pointy. Wear shoes that are comfortable that you feel confident walking in. Make sure your dress is hemmed to floor length and that you do not need to lift it to walk. Beyond that: take your time! Take your time on the stairs, in and out of cars/limos, doors, walking down the aisle, take your time all day long!
6. Everyone looking at me/saying our vows.
All eyes will be on you, you are the Bride. There’s no place else they want to look but at you. That’s just the way it is and you know from any wedding you’ve gone to, you look directly at the bride as much as possible.
If you are not comfortable with this you have two choices, you can elope with just your fiancé or you can accept the fact and deal with it. My guess is most of you are going to accept the fact and deal with it, in which case we offer you the following:
Advice: Breathe. You are about to marry your best friend and those are the only eyes that matter. Focus on your fiancee not everyone else! When those doors open and you are confronted with a room full of people staring at you, obviously it can be a little overwhelming. However you are there to marry one person, not the entire room, and that person should be your sole focus. And really, let them stare at you, you have never looked so beautiful, and they love you! It is a day to make endless memories, not be worried about saying or doing the ‘wrong’ thing.
The vows however can be tricky. Many people are worried about speaking in public. There are ways to get around this! If you are really worried about speaking your vows (like I was!), then eliminate this and have the officiant say them. You don’t need to read, memorize, or speak anything other than “I do”. This can eliminate SO much stress and anxiety from both parties knowing they don’t have to read or remember anything!.
If you still prefer to speak your own vows, make sure they are written largely and clearly so there is very little room to get mixed up. Maybe add a little humor in there because the laughter can really lessen your nerves. And don’t forget to speak up so everyone can hear them.
7. How my dress will fit.
We saved this one for last. This one is not one you should even worry about! Your alterations will be done 4 to 6 weeks prior to the wedding. You will go back for a final fit approximately two weeks before, where any last minute adjustments will be made. The chances of you changing sizes in two weeks is virtually impossible, so your dress will fit you perfectly. There is always the risk of a strap breaking while dancing or a rip somehow, and it is something you can be prepared for, just like a stain on the dress!
Advice. If you are worried about changing sizes, make your final fitting 5 to 7 days prior to your wedding where there is no chance that you will change sizes. With our seamstresses, you will not leave your final fitting until you are completely satisfied with the dress. What you see at the seamstress is what you will see at your wedding. There is no need to worry about the fit. Some brides have dresses that are much bigger in the skirt and require a more elaborate bustle. If you have this, we recommend taking several people to your final fit to show them exactly how to bustle the dress. They can even video it so there is no room for error! In an emergency, the dress can always be pinned up using safety pins if necessary. If you are worried about how your wedding dress will fit, discuss your specific concerns ahead of time with your seamstress and she will make sure your dress fits like a glove! Safety pins will easily fix most minor dress issues so make sure they are on hand. In addition, a needle and thread must be nearby and ready to go (with the pins and stain removers) to quickly stitch up any rips or holes!
We hope this helped address those issues you are most worried about! We would love your feedback or any additional advice you need!