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Blog Summary
- Highlights the wedding from proposal to the wedding day
- Discusses engagement party, venue visits, wedding dress shopping, bridal shower, and planning
- Wedding day suggestions choosing vendors like florist, entertainment, photographer, planner, and content creator
- Mother of the bride dress choice
- Advice on wedding planning and allowing vendors to do the jobs they are hired for
This is an especially sweet blog for me to write. My daughter Daria was married on New Year’s Eve 2024. It was as perfect as we had hoped! I am excited to give my story, opinions, and feelings about not only the day, but the whole process of wedding planning as a Mother of the Bride!
I have so many amazing memories from this experience. You will, too!
Back Story
Daria and Jeff had been together nearly 4 years when he comically wrote me this on Facebook:
I believe he found this to be the safest – or at least most private – way to ask.
He asked me if I knew what kind of ring she wanted, and told me he planned to propose on their four year anniversary at the spot of their first date in Manayunk (Philadelphia, PA if you are reading this from outside of the Philadelphia region). I was so excited. Daria had been dreaming about marrying him for a long time. They already had the apartment and the two cutest pups, this was the next chapter in their love story.
The Proposal
The proposal was in August 2023. Jeff wanted it to be just them, no big scene or fuss. A sweet proposal and dinner. While of course I wanted to be there, I asked for a picture asap. I also followed Daria’s location so I could see when they got to the spot.
After dinner, they came back to our house for champagne and a few engagement gifts. The excitement from both of them was delightful to watch.
The Engagement Era
Daria mentioned wanting a New Year’s Eve wedding even before they were engaged. I was definitely excited for that, however there was no way we were going to be able to plan a wedding in four months. At least not the wedding she wanted. That meant we were going to have a 16 month long engagement.
Engagement Party
I asked Daria if she wanted an engagement party and she said yes. That immediately made my head start spinning. Her friends and some family are not local. It was the end of summer, we were about to go into our busiest season in the store, and then the holidays. How was I going to get everyone to come together? And when? And where? Bottom line is I never did. I think this is one of the mother of the bride duties that I failed.
Take away: if you think your child may be getting engaged, decide what you’re going to do about an engagement party before the engagement takes place. Decide the guest list, where you will have it, etc. so when the day comes, you can execute. I never thought about this, but I should have.
Venue Visits
When we talked about what she wanted in a venue, the only thing she told me was that she wanted “a place with stone columns”. This didn’t surprise me as our family does travel to Europe and I knew she wanted something with that Italian feel (marble, statues, etc.). I began searching and the Universe worked its magic, as it does.
While scrolling Facebook, I was shown a post about a property that was being renovated as a wedding venue, Elstowe Manor on the Elkins Estate property in Elkins Park, PA. My jaw dropped.
I knew from that Facebook post that was it. I sent it to Daria to book a tour.
We actually had two tours that lovely September day. The first one she definitely wanted to see. It was very nice, had the stone columns, a lovely ballroom, and was well known for doing beautiful wedding events. It was an option. From there, we drove to the Elkins Estate.
Core memory – this picture. I can remember everything about this moment instantly:
As we drove up that driveway, it really hit me and fast. So many thoughts at once. I was with my mini-me experiencing something I would never forget. My eldest daughter was getting married. Her sister would be by her side as Maid of Honor. I am actually the bride’s mother. Our family is gaining a son. It was quite emotional. Anyway…
We drove through the Buckingham Palace-type gates, and were right about at this point in the pic when we both gasped. She simply said, “Mom.” I replied with, “This is it.”
The inside was under renovation and it didn’t matter at all, it was magnificent. We toured. We booked. It was official, we had a wedding date: 12/31/2024!
Engagement Shoot
They had their engagement shoot done in October at the property, and sent out the Save the Date announcements. (Cue the lack of engagement party failure again.)
Booking Our Vendor Team
Because the wedding was going to be on New Year’s Eve, we needed to book our preferred vendors early. Working in the industry has given us the opportunity to meet not only some of the best wedding vendors, but become friends with many of them.
At twelve months out, we had officially booked these MVPs:
- Martin Reardon Photography, Jenkintown, PA
- Armani Entertainment, Warrington, PA
- Northeast Flower Boutique, Philadelphia, PA
- Daneene Jensen & Associates hair and makeup, Doylestown, PA
Note: A strong team of professionals is necessary. When you hire a vendor, the trust must be there that they will do what you want. They will meet with you to discuss specifics, but aside from that you need to give them the space and trust to do the job for which they were hired.
The Wedding Dress(es)
We knew there would be two dresses – a classic ceremony dress befitting the incredibly stately and gorgeous venue, and a glittery sparkling reception dress for the New Year’s Eve reception party.
Over the course of 12 years working in a bridal store, Daria has tried on many hundreds of gowns. When it came time for her own wedding dress shopping experience, she had tried on enough to have a clear favorite. However, we both had a feeling about a new one that was due to arrive in the store in the spring. The universe made sure to smile on us again. It arrived in the store April 15, her birthday.
The dress was gorgeous right out of the box. She tried it on with just me and announced, “I think I’m going to cry” And we both did. It was perfect and the only dress that made her cry.
When a bride-to-be finds the perfect dress, it is a core memory with massive significance. The dress is symbolic of her marriage!
A group of family and friends came to see her try on a few dresses and then show her choices. She officially said yes to the dress on April 26, eight months out. We tell brides 6-9 months so she was right in the timeframe!
Something to consider: in our store, we suggest brides bring just her mom or a few special people to actually choose the dress. She then can return with a much larger group to try on a few and then reveal her actual dress. It takes the stress off of the bride from bringing a very large group to try to choose her dress (which often winds up with a confused and disappointed bride from all the opinions).
The Next Five Months:
- The color palettes were chosen for the bridesmaids and flowers
- Bridesmaids ordered their dresses
- Bride had her hair and make up trial
- Secured Shannon Kelly from SK Wedding Planning for our Day of Coordinator
- Secured Saharrah Heidrick as our Wedding Content Creator
- Planned the bridal shower
- Ordered wedding invitations from the Paper Unicorn in Doylestown, PA. (We met with two different stationers, and it is a good idea to shop around. The same invitations were going to cost more than both of her wedding dresses with the first vendor vs. a reasonable price with the second.)
- The Maids of Honor and Bridesmaids threw Daria’s bachelorette party at the end of June in Cape May, NJ
- Found and booked the rehearsal dinner restaurant
- We had the cake tasting which was a very fun day! We wound up choosing a straight up vanilla pound cake with white buttercream icing, the perfect choice in my opinion.
And then there was my MOB dress. A blog unto itself.
MOB Dress
We own a bridal store and I am the Mother of the Bride in a New Year’s Eve black tie wedding. This is my party, I am the hostess. What do I wear? I didn’t know what I wanted, but I had to look the part. Like any MOB/G, I was anxious.
The dress code meant a glamorous, floor length gown. Her maids were wearing rose gold. I needed to compliment and was initially considering gold, silver, or pewter.
Daria’s dress was a beautiful ivory satin, and her sister Deanna was in a silky rose gold charmeuse. I envisioned family photos and thought any color I chose could potentially clash. I was looking at dresses from Alexander by Daymor and one caught my eye. I could see myself in it – a modern cut, jaquard fabric, and it came in black. Perfect! I ordered it and when it came in, it was better than I thought. I had my dress!
FOB Tuxedo
Again, we are fortunate that we are in the wedding attire business, as my husband wears several tuxedos a year and can choose from any of our 60 options. Knowing that most of the guests, as well as the groom and groomsmen were wearing black, I wanted Franco as Father of the Bride in something different. We chose the gorgeous Marco from designer Brunomagli in charcoal with a black satin lapel. It made him stand out from the black, yet coordinate perfectly with my dress. We nailed the look we wanted as parents of the bride!
The Bridal Shower – October 13, 2024
Organizing the bridal shower was a lot of fun for me. Daria’s grandmothers wanted to be involved somehow in the wedding plans, and this was the perfect way to include them! They booked a beautiful banquet room at the Blue Bell Country Club in Blue Bell, PA.
They helped choose the menu, decorations, favors, and flowers. We ordered the invitations through Minted and the welcome sign online. I found a lovely local shop called Steph’s Baked Confections in Warrington PA, who made the most perfect custom cookies (highly recommend custom cookies)!
It was a big day for Daria, she had the cutest white dress and certainly looked like a bride-to-be! So many in attendance and such a great mix – a few of her close friends, our family, her Darianna® family, the groom’s mother and grandmother, cousins, aunts, etc. all playing games and celebrating. It was a very special and memorable day.
Note: The shower surprised me. I thought that it was the responsibility of the maid of honor and bridal party to organize and throw the bridal shower. This does not seem to be the case anymore. In my role of the mother of the bride, I was the point person. Many of her bridesmaids live out of state and while they were in attendance at her bachelorette party, they were unable to make the shower.
Final Wedding Planning – Two Months Out
Wedding Invitations
Her invites were gorgeous and exactly what she wanted. We sent them out in mid-October with an end-November RSVP date, which gave enough time to chase any missing responses. Surprisingly, there weren’t many!
The Tasting
This was really something! We did a tasting of every option to choose our menu. There was so much food! Every cocktail hour hors d’oeruve that would be served, different salads, entrees, and desserts from which to choose.
We tried everything (afterwards all felt like we had eaten Thanksgiving dinner) and chose the options for the guests to choose from at the table. We knew this was going to be over the top, but the food selections and amounts made it next level.
Final Details & Meetings – One Month Out
I was expecting this to be overwhelming, however, with the team we chose it was easy and organized.
Venue Meeting – Ed Rubin, the GM of the Elkins Estate was professional, organized, and just a sweetheart. With almost 40 years in the business, he knew how to run this details meeting and get it done in record time. We confirmed timing of arrivals/check-in (hair and make up started at 9:00am!), ceremony, cocktail hour, menu, signature drinks, linens, room set up and table sizes, seating chart, and even specific entryway decor. His competence was instrumental in a flawless night.
Florist Meeting – Anastasia went over arrangements for the ceremony room, centerpieces, bouquets, boutonnieres, wrist corsages, balcony garland, and cake flowers, set up and take down times.
Photographer Meeting – Martin, along with his videographer, fine tuned the shot list and the timeline from getting ready and first looks to the champagne toast and balloon drop at midnight. Daria & Jeff wanted all of the family photos done prior to the ceremony so that they and all the wedding guests/wedding party could enjoy cocktail hour and not miss anything. (This actually worked very well for us; I would suggest doing it this way!)
DeeJay/Photobooth Meeting – Art went over Daria & Jeff’s song choices for the processional, bride’s aisle walk, recessional, the couple’s first dance, father/daughter and mother/son dances, dinner music, and then the party.
Lastly, we finalized:
- Rehearsal dinner – choose menu and room set up
- Groomsmen and father/grandfather tuxedo fittings
- Final dress fittings, our dresses looked spectacular thanks to our long-time friend Irina who owns the Design Studio by Irina in Warrington, PA. Meticulous alterations! She even sewed into the skirt of Daria’s dress a small family heirloom handkerchief from a great-great aunt (something old).
- Welcome gift bags for those staying overnight
- Final vendor payments
December 30 – Wedding Eve
The first thing that happened this day was our florist sent us a photo of Daria’s bridal bouquet! We did make a few revisions and it turned out beautifully. It was a great service offered to show the bouquet a day early to make any final tweaks.
Had my wedding mani & pedi, then off we went to purchase wine and beer for the rehearsal dinner. At this point, we were set and ready to go.
The Rehearsal
Rehearsal was wonderful, The Elkins Estate was decorated for the holiday season with lovely Christmas trees and life-size nutcrackers. It added so much to the ambience! We had our walk-through rehearsal, where we would wait, and in what order we would walk. The couple had a very large wedding party and it was important that everyone knew where they were in line.
The rehearsal dinner was very nice and Trattoria Valona in Hatboro, PA did a wonderful job!
12/31/2024 – Wedding Day
We did it – all the wedding preparations were in place.
The morning of the wedding I spent in hair and makeup with the bride, bridal party, and mother of the groom. It was a great atmosphere and the maids had bagels, cookies, and mimosas set up.
When Daria, Deanna and I were finished, I went upstairs to my room and got changed. I felt amazing. I loved my hair and while I felt like I had way too much makeup on, it turned out very nice in the photos.
I didn’t want to overdo my look since my dress was already beautiful. My accessories were classic diamond stud earrings, a pearl and diamond cuff bracelet, and black satin gloves. The gloves set me apart from everyone.
The three of us had getting ready photos and videos taken. The room was lovely, the sun was coming in one of the windows and it was heartwarming to see Daria that happy.
Daria wrote me the sweetest letter and of course I cried. It takes everything you have to raise a child. To watch them fly is your job, even though you want to hold on a little longer.
After that, it was first looks with the fathers and then first look with Jeff. The rest of the afternoon we had lots of photos taken of the family and wedding party.
The guest started to arrive around 4 PM. The ceremony started at 6:00, it was the sweetest! Daria’s friend from 2nd grade was her officiant which was so special.
And they even did the perfect dip!
The night was just incredible. Guests are still raving about it. The new couple could not be happier and as parents, that’s all you want.
Final thoughts on Wedding Planning as a Mother of the Bride:
Hire the right vendors! Remember, you get what you pay for. The cheapest vendor will often cost you more in the long run, both financially and emotionally.
THE MUSTS
- With your venue, you MUST have a dedicated person on site and running your event. This person has a very important role in your event planning and you do not need to be switched around between wedding coordinators.
- You MUST hire your own wedding planner or day of coordinator (DOC). This person works for you and is a go-between between the MOB/bride and venue coordinator. S/he will be a godsend for all of the little things that pop up on the day of your wedding. And there will be many little things that pop up. This person will also help take pressure off of the bride. A planner or DOC is an absolute must in my opinion, who will not only handle the tasks, but can also subvert any awkward family dynamics and keep your special day positive and happy. We were fortunate to use Shannon Kelly from SK Wedding Planning, who also happened to be a bridesmaid in the wedding! Shannon took a great deal of stress off my plate day of and I am grateful for her assistance with all of the little details leading up to the wedding as well.
- A new vendor at weddings is the content creator. You MUST hire a content creator. At first when I heard about it, I thought it was kind of silly. A content creator? But now I get it, I would say this person may have one of the most important jobs at your wedding. We asked our bridal stylist Saharrah Heidrick if she was interested, and she jumped on it immediately. The footage that she captured behind the scenes is priceless. My husband and I were busy speaking to guests most of the evening and most of the wedding was a blur. But the next day, New Years Day, as I sat on my couch recuperating and relaxing, I was sent hundreds of videos and photos that she took. I had the most fun watching videos of people enjoying themselves, dancing, and laughing, and all the things I didn’t see while I was there. You NEED this person at your wedding.
- You MUST have the right vendor team. Our night was flawless because we had seasoned professionals who have worked in their fields for years. The price we paid for the night we had was worth every penny. Trust them and do not micro-manage. They know what they are doing!
- As MOB/MOG you MUST get the right dress. It sounds ridiculous, but when I put that dress on with my gloves, I felt like I was in charge. And I was, it was our party. I received so many compliments and felt confident. It matters what dress you wear, how it fits, and how you feel in it. Don’t settle.
My last words of advice are to not stress over issues that may arise. If you are prepared with the right team and your emergency kit, things that may happen most of the time are not even noticed by your guests. This is also not the time to fight with family members. Personality clashes need to be overlooked and dealt with in a mature fashion.
I have been asked if I am happy the wedding is over. Of course I am glad that I was able to see all of our planning come to life! The sneak peek pictures and videos from Martin are coming in now and seeing these bring smiles again – they are so good!
If you are wedding planning as a Mother of the Bride, enjoy the process. It is your daughter’s day and the journey to the wedding will give you memories just like the wedding day itself!