Wedding dress shopping is often an event that takes on a life of its own: hundreds of pinned photos, an overwhelming number of options, so many stores, and the opinions from large groups. Some brides relish it all, but others want a simple trip solo.
We received a letter for our series that definitely needs to be read whether you are a bride to be, or have been asked to join her dress shopping. It goes nicely with our Guest Etiquette blog regarding the positive comments, although this takes it a step further.
Don’t be insulted if you are not asked to join her.
Dear family and friends,
You know that I love you and I’m thrilled that you guys are so excited to be part of my wedding plans! Your encouragement and support in a time so special means the world to me. I have been enjoying sharing the planning process with you all, so please don’t take it the wrong way when I tell you that wedding dress shopping is something I need to do by myself.
It is no secret that I’m a little self conscious so it should come as no surprise that putting on dresses and standing on a pedestal for your opinions and judgements sounds like a recipe for disaster for my self esteem. These dresses are not all my size and will not be altered to me which leads me to think I will need some extra time and peace to clearly process my thoughts on each dress.
When my sister went dress shopping, I heard the comments that mom, grandmom, and everyone else made during the process. I know they all came from a good place and she handled it fine, but I don’t think I could have a productive appointment knowing that I am being subjected to such judgment from those I love.
I also watched as she was forced into ballgowns and blingy dresses “for fun” – dresses she didn’t even want to try. You all meant well and were just having fun, but that is a nightmare situation for me.
Pictures were being taken of every single dress from every angle and I was horrified imagining myself in that position someday. Now it is my turn and I just cannot go through it.
For these reasons, those initial appointments will be between me and my consultant. I trust that they will help guide me in the right direction and pull dresses for me that I may not have considered for myself without distracting or confusing me! I am confident that I will be able to find a dress I love with their help.
Maybe if I find a couple I am torn between, I will bring you back to help me make the final decision! If I do find and commit to “the one” without you all there, I will bring you all in to see it when the dress comes in my correct size and color. I would love your help with veils, jewelry, shoes, and other accessories that would complement the dress! I know that you all will have great ideas to make my vision come to life even more than I could have thought of.
Please don’t take this as me trying to exclude you from dress shopping with me. I know most brides love to have their crew alongside them when they say yes to the dress. As much as I would love to, this is a huge decision that I need to make alone without feeling self-conscious. I want to make sure that I am getting exactly what I want and feel beautiful and confident in. I love you all dearly and can’t wait to have the big reveal!
The Lone Bride