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Summary
- Wedding vows can be personally written or couples can use the traditional ones
- They can be romantic, religious, non-religious, or a combination
- Writing your own uses the past, present, future structure
- Mention specific feelings and promises
- Option to recite vows privately before the ceremony
Another decision you will make as you continue to plan your big day is whether you will write your own wedding vows or use the traditional wedding vows. Whether you are having a small wedding or a very large affair, these will be some of the most important and meaningful words you will ever speak. In fact, the whole point of a wedding is to make these promises to each other. It is not only a good idea but imperative that you give thought to several aspects of this particular wedding planning task.
Publicly Speaking Your Vows
There has been an enormous amount of energy spent planning this day, and here you are at the wedding ceremony. Think about it – are you and your fiancee extroverts that won’t mind speaking your own marriage vows in front of a crowd? If so, writing your own is for you!
This is the perfect opportunity to speak your personal and heartfelt sentiments, unique promises, and even a few inside jokes to your fiancee and in front of your friends, family, and loved ones.
Conversely, some people have a very difficult time speaking in front of a group and therefore the traditional vows may be easier and less stressful than reciting your own personal wedding vows. This is a very emotional moment and if you are shy – or otherwise dreading the thought of speaking in front of a crowd – definitely do what makes you feel most comfortable.
An idea to consider is to write your own and have the celebrant to read them for you. That way it’s only an “I do” that you will need to say in your own words. The most important thing is that you are present at the ceremony, not stressed about speaking or remembering lines.
Let’s take a deeper dive into writing your wedding vows.
Examples of Wedding Vows
1. Romantic Wedding Vows
The romantic vows are heartfelt and poetic. Some romantic ways to express your feelings are:
- I choose you—today, tomorrow, and forever.
- You are my best friend, the best part of me, and with you I am a better person.
- No matter where life takes us, my heart will always belong to you.
- I vow to be the calm in your storm and the light in your darkest moments.
2. Religious Wedding Vows
There are many examples of religious and traditional ceremony vows according to your personal faith. A few examples are:
- In the presence of God and our loved ones, I promise to love and cherish you, to honor and support you, and to remain faithful to you for the rest of my life.
- I promise to be faithful to you, to love you and to serve, you til death do us part.
- I vow to share your joys and sorrows and to remain by your side with loyalty and devotion.
- I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.
3. Civil Ceremony Vows
These are non-religious ceremonies and some examples are:
- With all my heart, I promise to love you today, tomorrow, and always.
- I choose you to be my partner in life. I promise to encourage you, laugh with you, and comfort you in times of sorrow.
- I take you as you are, and I promise to love, honor, and support you through all that life brings.
- Today, I promise to stand by your side, to love you without reservation, and to share all that I am and all that I have with you.
Top Tips For Writing Your Perfect Wedding Vows
We are all about writing your own vows. This is a great way of making these special words uniquely suited to your love story. The best way to do this is by adding personal stories, specific promises, and a personal declaration of love. While they can be serious with a hint of silly, or downright funny with a true understanding of the gravity of the union, we have some expert tips.
- If you have opted to write your own, the next step is to decide whether you want romantic vows (perhaps taken from a favorite book of poetry or lyrical verses), religious promises invoking your faith, or short and sweet promises with favorite memories.
- Begin with a statement of who your fiancee is to you (your true love, whole heart, best friend, world, etc.) and talk to him/her.
- When organizing your vows, the basic structure is to speak of the past, the present, and make promises for the future:
- Past: Where were you before? What was your life like?
- Present: How have you changed? How has your life changed? (*Perhaps tell a short story of your first date or other special day. This gives your guests an understanding of a meaningful event or memorable moment in your relationship. Maybe a song, a quote, or something just between the two of you that means a lot.)
- Future: What promises do you make for the future? Consider the specific ways you will honor them in your marriage.
More Wedding Vow Examples & Tips
Are you a fun couple with a silly side? Add something witty (“I promise not to hog the covers”) or write a portion of your vows for your fiancee to read (“I promise to always do the laundry”). Funny ways like this can be the perfect time to show your sense of humor and love for your best friend!
If you are having a religious ceremony, this may not be the right time to be silly. Instead, insert and recite your favorite scripture verses as well. Deepen your connection with religious personal choices and promises.
Either way, be sure to to include gratitude, that you will always be there, in good times and bad, for better or worse. And the last thing is to end with the promise of “as long as we both shall live” or “all the days of my life”.
Personal Touch
Some of the best advice we could give is to recite your vows to each other after your first look. It may sound like such a little thing, but a lot of couples do this and feel it was the best choice to calm their nerves and allow them to have a better time at the ceremony.
They were able to complete what seemed like a daunting task in a private, meaningful, and quiet way. They were not pronounced husband and wife because they only read their vows to each other, not in front of the celebrant. When it came time to read them in front of their loved ones, the couples had plenty of time to calm down and truly be present in the pivotal moments of the ceremony.
Once you start writing let it flow and don’t worry how long it is at this point. Get out a lot of what you want to say, then go back and cut it down to a manageable length making sure the specific things you want to say are included. You can read it with a timer and see how long it is. If you have trouble narrowing these down to the best version, read them to a close friend or family member. A great sounding board can help you come up with the perfect final draft.
Share with your partner the “style” of the vows you wrote (if you are writing them yourself) – just in case he/she needs a little help with the writing process. And be sure not to wait until the last minute. Writing meaningful wedding vows takes thought and reflection to find the right words to express your feelings to your special person.
It is a great idea to write your personal vows into His & Hers vow books. They are keepsakes, the most perfect way to remember your wedding day for the rest of your life. And, if you are lucky enough to have a wedding dress with pockets, you even have a place to keep your book.
Whatever you say in your sweet wedding vows, take a deep breath, and say it loud and proud! Now you’re finally married in real life and can have a great time enjoying all your hard work wedding planning!