One of the decisions you will make as you continue planning your wedding is that of wedding vows. Will you use the traditional or will you write your own?
We are all about writing your own vows, making them uniquely suited to your relationship. While they can be serious with a hint of silly, or downright funny with a true understanding of the gravity of the union, these are some of the most important and meaningful words you will ever speak.
You speak of the past, the present, and make promises for the future.
So you’re all set to write them and now what? What is coming to mind sounds ridiculous, canned, corny, and not at all what you want to convey. Help is here 🙂
Figure out what you want first: do you want short and sweet promises, more personal and intimate vows, traditional, religious, poetic or lyrical?
Then start with a statement of who your fiancee is to you (your love, your heart, best friend, world, etc.) and talk to him/her.
How have you changed, how has your life changed? Where were you before, where are you now?
Perhaps tell a short story to have your guests understand a meaningful event in your relationship. Maybe a song, a quote, or something just between the two of you that means a lot.
Continue with what you promise for the future! Here you can add something witty (“I promise not to hog the covers”) and if you are having a more religious ceremony, insert your favorite scripture verses as well.
Include gratitude, that you will always be there, that it is forever, for better or worse!
And end with a promise of “as long as we both shall live” or “all the days of my life”.
Once you start writing let it flow and don’t worry how long it is at this point. Get out a lot of what you want to say, then go back and cut it down to a manageable length. You can read it with a timer and see how long it is.
Consider sharing with your partner the “style” of the vows you wrote (if you are writing them yourself) – just in case he/she is also suffering from a little writer’s block!
Here is a sample of a traditional wedding vow:
I, [name], take you [name], to be my [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part.
Here is a sample of a personalized vow:
{Name}, I promise to respect and support you, to be patient and loving towards you, to work by your side to achieve the things we value and dream of, and to savor our time together. I pledge to you all of these things from the bottom of my heart for the rest of our lives.
Whatever you say, say it loud and proud, and BE MARRIED!