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Bridal Myths: Exposed!

We’ve all heard urban myths and legends. Some are funny like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster. Some are creepy like Bloody Mary; the Woman in White and Area 51. Yet, even though we know these myths are based on nothing more than rumor and exaggeration, they still persist.

Like any other segment of society, the bridal world has its own share of myths, like:

“I will cry when I find my perfect dress;” “I will know my perfect dress as soon as I see it;” or “It’s best to bring everyone with me to my bridal appointments.”

Well, much like Bigfoot and the Woman in White, not all tales are true, especially in the bridal world.  Here are a few of the tales I’ve heard over the years.

  • I will cry when I find my perfect dress

Not always!  When you know it’s your dress, we call that “the Moment”.  Many brides do have the Moment with tears! Some completely break down as the reality hits (OMG, I’m getting MARRIED!)  Some experience a combination of a laugh-cry type thing.  Others light up, smile ear to ear and say YES with a cheer! And then there are brides who simply know and confidently say, I love it.  This is my dress, this is the one.

We love the brides who say, “I’m sure I won’t cry, I’m not like that.”  When those tears come, whoa boy.  It’s for real and there is no denying she found the ONE.

You may not cry, but you WILL have your Moment.  Trust that process.  You’ll know.  Not a myth.

  • I will know my dress as soon as I see it

Myth. As any experienced Consultant will tell you, there is a process to finding your dream dress. It’s not a matter of just finding the prettiest gown in the shop and calling it a day. There are many factors that should go into finding the dress for your special day:

What silhouette flatters your figure most? Where is the wedding taking place? What fabrics are you most comfortable in? What type of wedding are you having? Indoor or outdoor? Day or evening? Huge celebration or an intimate affair? How much detail work are you looking for? Do you want to deal with a train or would you rather have a cathedral veil for drama? What price point are you comfortable with?

All these answers are to be found in one dress and that requires a thoughtful plan of action. You will no doubt put on numerous dresses that are breathtaking and fulfill your vision. But, does it check off all your “must haves”?

Consistently, we have brides end an appointment with TWO favorite dresses which they need to weigh against each to make that final choice. While it does occasionally happen that a bride will click with her gown right away, more times than not, there isn’t a definitive “ta-dah” moment until the bride gives it much consideration against the others.

This is why we will encourage you to try different styles, silhouettes, and fabrics during your appointment. Our goal is to guide and support you as you navigate through a sea of white and ivory to find the gown of your dreams. Just don’t be disheartened if you don’t know your dress based on a first look.

  • To find my perfect dress, I will drive to dozens of places and try everything on to be confident in my decision.

Myth.  While this sounds like an excellent research plan, I can tell you from experience that this will leave a bride stressed and frustrated. The much-anticipated, incredibly exciting “Say Yes” moment becomes a chore.

With the Internet’s assistance, you will find thousands of dresses with similar silhouettes, features and colors that you will be trying to cram into your brain. Even the most detail-oriented bride will buckle under the weight of all the information being thrown at her by Google, her friends and the Consultants she encounters at each place she visits near and far.

Brides come in to see me with endless photos of gowns they’ve tried. Constant refrains are:

“Wait, why did we keep this picture?” “I don’t remember what was on the skirt/bodice that we liked…” “Was this the one Mom liked?” “Is this the same dress we tried on at the other place?”  And our very favorite: “Wait, didn’t we all hate this dress?”

Short story: I personally worked with a Bride who visited 12 different salons across the Tri-State area. She couldn’t say whether or not she liked the dresses she was trying on with me.  Every time she came out in a dress, she was riddled with questions and information:  “The other one was better on your figure.” “Now, do you like the beading on this one or this one (showing her a photo).” “Show her how this bustles.” “Let’s put a veil on and see how you feel.”  “Maybe you should try something plain, you liked a plain one at the other store last week.”  “Let me go pull another one I saw for you.”

She just broke down crying because after trying on literally over one hundred dresses, she was miserable. She didn’t like anything anymore.  The constant questions comparing every dress to something else she tried on previously had her too stressed her out to continue. There were TOO MANY.  Let your Consultant curate a beautiful selection for you and start from there.

Keep it simple.  Find a couple reputable stores who will make you a priority. Visit their websites, research the lines they carry and price points.  Read their reviews. (Read our reviews here!)  Make your appointment and try on gowns that you know will work both aesthetically and financially for your wedding. There is enough stress involved in wedding planning, be strategic in your dress search.

  • The more expensive the dress, the better it is

Myth Myth Myth Myth and Myth.

In my years as a Consultant, I have been privileged to work in different parts of the country and at different salons. I have worked with many top of the line designers as well as median designers. While it is true that most gowns are priced according to the quality of fabric, lace and embroidery used in a design, it is also true that you are paying for the privilege of wearing a specific designer’s creation.

There is absolutely no reason for a bride to overpay for a beautifully designed and well constructed gown. Today’s textiles are being manufactured with specific purpose and your comfort in mind. And, thankfully, these fabrics are not as expensive as their predecessors! Silk jersey and matte satins are being utilized by bridal gown manufacturers for more wrinkle free wear and lighter weight gowns. Many times, these modern fabrics provide a lower price point for the consumer.

Although there are still designers that command a premium price due to name recognition, I guarantee that no one will know if the appliques on your dress were sewn on by hand or if they were machine stitched.

  • The Consultant will try to push higher priced dresses to boost her commission

While I would love to qualify this as a total falsehood, I can’t.  If a store works on commission, this is true.

The reality is that commissions are incentives to sell, whether it’s a higher priced dress, or old stock they want to move out. Unfortunately, this can lead to high pressure sales tactics and even outright lies.

Yes, in the past, I have seen commission driven Consultants skirt the truth in order to close a sale. Sadly, these Consultants were poorly compensated and to make up for the unfair pay scale, a Consultant was forced to boost their compensation with commission. So, while I cannot entirely dismiss commission boosting as a total fabrication in the bridal industry, I can tell you how the Consultants at Darianna Bridal differ from them.

Darianna Bridal & Tuxedo is a family-run, community based business. We are invested personally and professionally in the area. Our Consultants are compensated for their expertise, knowledge and professionalism allowing us to forego the problematic commission based sales paradigm. Our families live and work in the community that we serve. We are invested in our neighbors and want their experience here at Darianna to be a joyous one.

Whether you say yes to a brand new dress or a marked down bargain, we are thrilled to be part of your wedding… and the consultant makes the same amount of money. There is – and never will be – a commission structure in our store.

  • A Bridal Salon will order the dress too big so that they can make money off of the alterations

This is another one that cannot be completely disputed.

Brides need not be confined to an overpriced alteration “package” (or “flat fee”) for the sake of convenience. We allow the Bride to choose from several different seamstresses in the area who are extremely skilled and talented in bridal and formal wear alterations. These alteration providers are independently owned and operated, small businesses. They set their own pricing scale based on the intricacy of the work to be performed.

Alterations are necessary but time consuming. Sizing in the bridal industry is extremely different from any other piece of clothing you will ever wear or order.  Read our blog on sizing and how we try to get the RIGHT size!

As Consultants, we can offer you our considerable knowledge and guidance. Speak up and always let your thoughts be known about sizing.

  • Bridal salons are overpriced and have HUGE marked-up prices. Buying a gown on-line will save me hundreds of dollars.

MYTH!!!!  MYTH!!!! MYTH!!!!

The Amazon model of internet sales is revolutionary in terms of convenience, product choice and price comparison. Who doesn’t like hitting a button and having a package show up the next day fulfilling your need. And as much as my Amazon Prime account makes my life easier, it can’t always fulfill every niche. As the old adage says, if it’s too good to be true, it usually is.

Take for example on-line wedding gown vendors. We’ve all seen the Memes of the “knock-off” dresses.  That is not a myth either – those knock offs actually do look that bad.  Scarily, some even smell terrible, like chemicals or something burned.

Recently, we had a young lady rush into Darianna on a Friday afternoon clutching a gown, desperately looking for a replacement. The gown she was holding was an internet purchase. It was only $30. A total bargain, right?  Wrong. The dress construction was absurd (the bra cups were almost at her shoulders), the lining was entirely too small, and the lace bodice was completely off-color. Thankfully, we found her a great substitute that she wore to fulfill her Maid of Honor duties.  She paid a fair MSRP price on a quality dress, and spent an extra $30 on a dress she threw out.

Delivery of that bargain dress was delayed over a month due to its shipping origination in China. The site she purchased from had no customer service representative to speak with and no remedy for her situation. She purchased the dress from a picture and provided her credit card information to an unknown business entity in a foreign country.

At Darianna Bridal and Tuxedo, this is an untruth that we work to dismiss. We know our modern couple needs to be price conscious and we know they have other monetary considerations for their wedding day. Today’s Bride and Groom are graduating from college and entering the work force with incurred educational and life debts. We, as well as our manufacturers, are aware of this fact. We actively adhere to suggested manufacturer pricing guidelines so you can be assured of the best pricing available for the highest quality dresses.

Also, being a family run business, we have family and employees carrying educational and life debt. We know the importance of a budget. Our goal is to make your special day a reality, not to put you in debt.

  • My Bridal Squad is planning a party while I try on wedding dresses! Champagne, treats, and hours of fun for everyone! This is a great way to find my dress.

No one likes to have fun at a Bridal appointment more than the Consultants at Darianna Bridal & Tuxedo. This appointment is meant to be a memorable and joyous experience! We are always excited to meet you and your guests. But, as with most things, there are considerations…

While it is sparkling good fun to bring in champagne for your crew to sip while you view, it does not make for good decision making skills.

We love to celebrate the final “YES!” with a champagne toast, but drinking alcohol is not a good idea throughout the appointment. You and your Squad should approach this decision with the contemplative attitude the task requires, then go celebrate properly at brunch or dinner!

And, while we love a gregarious group, when the attention strays from the bride, attention is diverted from the goal of finding her dress. It makes for good Instagram posts, but it is not helping the bride.

Short story: We had a very large group several years ago who brought boxed wine and a full spread of cheese and crackers. Rules were set at the start and everyone was on board. While it was fun in the beginning, it didn’t last. It turned chaotic with dresses being pulled “for fun”, silly photos being taken, and as the drinking continued, arguments started. The appointment was ruined and bride got nowhere.  The appointment was shut down after the scheduled 90 minutes and the group was upset that they didn’t have enough time to see the bride in all the dresses they pulled (“for fun”).

A bride will never find her dress this way and we learned a lot from that group (including NO outside alcohol).  We privately arranged to have the bride return with just her mother for the experience she deserved, where she was able to say yes and have a champagne toast on us.

Have a question or a myth you’d like answered?  Let us know in a comment! We’d love to confirm or debunk for you 🙂

Darianna Bridal & Tuxedo is so proud to continue to curate the best dress and tuxedo selections for our couples at great prices. It is exciting to continue to add new dress designers (stay tuned for Morilee and MADI LANE Bridal!!) and carry the newest tuxedo styles! It’s a great time to be engaged!

 

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